Straight Talk by Nimfa L. Estrellado That’s part of the problem. But it’s not the most important part. In fact, the tight control over an...
Straight Talk
by Nimfa L. Estrellado
That’s part of the problem. But it’s not the most important part. In fact, the tight control over an outer beauty standard is actually just a facet of the real, deeper problem - and that deeper problem is the disrespectful portrayal of women. The portrayal of women - and even girls - as sexual objects.
Not every woman will agree that sexual objectification of women is a form of disrespect. Some women feel that embracing that role is a way to claim their femininity, and that the sexual attention they get from that isn’t disrespectful.
I would argue that what they are enjoying is the alleviation of open disrespect and disregard.
For men who have learned to objectify women, the prelude to “getting some” looks sort of like respectful behavior - smiles, nods, attention, maybe some gentlemanly courtship.
But if the men giving the attention don’t see a complex, inherently self-possessed human being when they see a woman presented as a sexual object, there’s no realness in their show of respect.
If you read accounts from women and girls about how their eating disorders started, most refer to sexual abuse in the family, sexually objectifying comments tied in with the ultra-thin beauty standard, and being overly influenced by that ultra-thin beauty standard in the media - after their self-esteem is low.
And low self-esteem comes from being treated as if invisible. It comes from being treated as if one’s insides, one’s infinitely complex humanity, is not real or significant.
It comes from being represented in the ubiquitous media as if one doesn’t have the physical and sexual boundaries that people who matter have. The kind of boundaries that need to be respected. It comes from being treated as if one is an object for someone else to use - whether or not the “object” is designated as “beautiful.”
In response to the culture’s objectification, most of all in the media, women and girls learn to objectify themselves.
A girl’s natural perception of herself which she inherently has as a young child shifts from being the important subject of her life - the one who experiences her body, who experiences the world - to being an object for the viewing pleasure of others.
She still has the needs of a subject, of a real, infinitely complex person, but her self-perception is shaped by the treatment she receives, and by the cultural representation of people who look like her.
She starts to conceive of herself in terms of images. The images that the media represents. The images that she knows others (who are also trained by the media) see when they look at her. You could say that a “poor body image” issue results.
But a human being doesn’t naturally think of her own body primarily in terms of an “image.” Her conception of her body is naturally - before self-objection - multi-sensory.
This natural self-conception includes her visual understanding of her own body from the outside, but - before the self-objectification is internalized - her inner experience of her body isn’t separate from her visual image of it.
That’s part of the problem. But it’s not the most important part. In fact, the tight control over an outer beauty standard is actually just a facet of the real, deeper problem - and that deeper problem is the disrespectful portrayal of women. The portrayal of women - and even girls - as sexual objects.
Not every woman will agree that sexual objectification of women is a form of disrespect. Some women feel that embracing that role is a way to claim their femininity, and that the sexual attention they get from that isn’t disrespectful.
I would argue that what they are enjoying is the alleviation of open disrespect and disregard.
For men who have learned to objectify women, the prelude to “getting some” looks sort of like respectful behavior - smiles, nods, attention, maybe some gentlemanly courtship.
But if the men giving the attention don’t see a complex, inherently self-possessed human being when they see a woman presented as a sexual object, there’s no realness in their show of respect.
If you read accounts from women and girls about how their eating disorders started, most refer to sexual abuse in the family, sexually objectifying comments tied in with the ultra-thin beauty standard, and being overly influenced by that ultra-thin beauty standard in the media - after their self-esteem is low.
And low self-esteem comes from being treated as if invisible. It comes from being treated as if one’s insides, one’s infinitely complex humanity, is not real or significant.
It comes from being represented in the ubiquitous media as if one doesn’t have the physical and sexual boundaries that people who matter have. The kind of boundaries that need to be respected. It comes from being treated as if one is an object for someone else to use - whether or not the “object” is designated as “beautiful.”
In response to the culture’s objectification, most of all in the media, women and girls learn to objectify themselves.
A girl’s natural perception of herself which she inherently has as a young child shifts from being the important subject of her life - the one who experiences her body, who experiences the world - to being an object for the viewing pleasure of others.
She still has the needs of a subject, of a real, infinitely complex person, but her self-perception is shaped by the treatment she receives, and by the cultural representation of people who look like her.
She starts to conceive of herself in terms of images. The images that the media represents. The images that she knows others (who are also trained by the media) see when they look at her. You could say that a “poor body image” issue results.
But a human being doesn’t naturally think of her own body primarily in terms of an “image.” Her conception of her body is naturally - before self-objection - multi-sensory.
This natural self-conception includes her visual understanding of her own body from the outside, but - before the self-objectification is internalized - her inner experience of her body isn’t separate from her visual image of it.
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