Straight Talk by Nimfa L. Estrellado I’m encountering misogyny more frequently than I can ever recall. I know times are tough for many pe...
Straight Talk
by Nimfa L. Estrellado
I’m encountering misogyny more frequently than I can ever recall. I know times are tough for many people, and I’m wondering if tough times aren’t making some men more receptive to women bashing, because it’s not unusual in difficult times for people to create a scapegoat.
Historically, difficult financial periods in our history have helped promote racial hatred and xenophobic attitudes. Perhaps women are becoming scapegoats for those angry men who are feeling inadequate.
The recent, well covered story about the crazy woman in other country who cut off her husband’s penis has become a rallying point, a rationale, for misogyny. Their reaction has been totally out of proportion to the facts. They would have all men fear women because of their own feelings of inadequacy as men. What’s odd about all this hysteria is the statistical fact that 85% of domestic violence is committed by men.
The internet is an enormous source of valuable information. It is also an incredible opportunity to parade ignorance as the truth. The internet and misogyny work well together because there’s no filter for the truth on the internet.
If there are a significant number of men who believe this misogynistic claptrap, then we’re all in trouble, because, unlike some folks who claim that telling a lie often enough makes it the truth, the truth isn’t ever open for debate. Once we begin debating the truth, the truth is lost forever, and so are we.
Men, who behave as if women are the enemy, are promoting the wrong message. The enemy is, always has been, and always will be, ignorance. Sadly, these days, ignorance seems to be making a comeback. Some politicians running for the Presidency of this country don’t know its most basic history. Worse, they’re proud of their ignorance, and fail to correct their mistakes, which suggest that straying from the truth is okay in order to make a point. Truth seems irrelevant. On that basis, misogyny doesn’t seem so far-fetched or much of a stretch.
Men, who believe women are inferior and therefore should be exploited, might want to keep in mind that their mothers didn’t likely raise them to believe this. But it’s easier to point a finger at women and blame them for everything wrong in their lives, than to identify the real perpetrator, ignorance. It’s inexcusable to espouse misogynistic values wrapped in patriotism or religion. It’s a perversion of the worst kind, because unlike patriotism and religion, it lacks integrity.
When I hear other men tell misogynistic jokes about women, I don’t laugh or encourage them. I let them know that there’s nothing funny about using women as the brunt for their unresolved issues with them. It’s the use of a crude sense of humor meant to make us laugh at something that isn’t remotely funny, to make us join them in their hatred and fear. My suggestion to other men is not to buy into humor that degrades women.
Misogyny has the potential to destroy young men’s minds in particular, filling them with a hatred and contempt for women that have no place in their young, impressionable hearts. It’s easy to hate because hating doesn’t take any imagination or intelligence, and misogyny is hatred.
Men who can’t get past misogyny need help; the kind of help men with integrity can offer them. In twenty years working with men, I’ve noticed misogyny come up a few times in my men’s groups. It was always beaten down by the majority of men in the groups who knew it was wrong-headed and dangerous. It is unnatural for men to be misogynists, and it should never be excused for any reasons. That just keeps it alive and well.
While women suffer because they are targeted by misogynists, men suffer as well. Living a lie never makes that lie true, and men who espouse misogyny are the worst kind of liars, because they preach hatred and fear of women. Where’s that’s going to take us in the long-term? Nowhere I want to go, that’s for sure.
I’m encountering misogyny more frequently than I can ever recall. I know times are tough for many people, and I’m wondering if tough times aren’t making some men more receptive to women bashing, because it’s not unusual in difficult times for people to create a scapegoat.
Historically, difficult financial periods in our history have helped promote racial hatred and xenophobic attitudes. Perhaps women are becoming scapegoats for those angry men who are feeling inadequate.
The recent, well covered story about the crazy woman in other country who cut off her husband’s penis has become a rallying point, a rationale, for misogyny. Their reaction has been totally out of proportion to the facts. They would have all men fear women because of their own feelings of inadequacy as men. What’s odd about all this hysteria is the statistical fact that 85% of domestic violence is committed by men.
The internet is an enormous source of valuable information. It is also an incredible opportunity to parade ignorance as the truth. The internet and misogyny work well together because there’s no filter for the truth on the internet.
If there are a significant number of men who believe this misogynistic claptrap, then we’re all in trouble, because, unlike some folks who claim that telling a lie often enough makes it the truth, the truth isn’t ever open for debate. Once we begin debating the truth, the truth is lost forever, and so are we.
Men, who behave as if women are the enemy, are promoting the wrong message. The enemy is, always has been, and always will be, ignorance. Sadly, these days, ignorance seems to be making a comeback. Some politicians running for the Presidency of this country don’t know its most basic history. Worse, they’re proud of their ignorance, and fail to correct their mistakes, which suggest that straying from the truth is okay in order to make a point. Truth seems irrelevant. On that basis, misogyny doesn’t seem so far-fetched or much of a stretch.
Men, who believe women are inferior and therefore should be exploited, might want to keep in mind that their mothers didn’t likely raise them to believe this. But it’s easier to point a finger at women and blame them for everything wrong in their lives, than to identify the real perpetrator, ignorance. It’s inexcusable to espouse misogynistic values wrapped in patriotism or religion. It’s a perversion of the worst kind, because unlike patriotism and religion, it lacks integrity.
When I hear other men tell misogynistic jokes about women, I don’t laugh or encourage them. I let them know that there’s nothing funny about using women as the brunt for their unresolved issues with them. It’s the use of a crude sense of humor meant to make us laugh at something that isn’t remotely funny, to make us join them in their hatred and fear. My suggestion to other men is not to buy into humor that degrades women.
Misogyny has the potential to destroy young men’s minds in particular, filling them with a hatred and contempt for women that have no place in their young, impressionable hearts. It’s easy to hate because hating doesn’t take any imagination or intelligence, and misogyny is hatred.
Men who can’t get past misogyny need help; the kind of help men with integrity can offer them. In twenty years working with men, I’ve noticed misogyny come up a few times in my men’s groups. It was always beaten down by the majority of men in the groups who knew it was wrong-headed and dangerous. It is unnatural for men to be misogynists, and it should never be excused for any reasons. That just keeps it alive and well.
While women suffer because they are targeted by misogynists, men suffer as well. Living a lie never makes that lie true, and men who espouse misogyny are the worst kind of liars, because they preach hatred and fear of women. Where’s that’s going to take us in the long-term? Nowhere I want to go, that’s for sure.
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